why didn't you poke me back
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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