Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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