So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
