i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
