my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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