who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
