whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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