It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
