So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
