You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
