Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
