I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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