The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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