That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
