i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
there was a trapeze. enough said
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
