I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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