How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
