I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
