im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Small penises have feelings too.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
