i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
