guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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