I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
