spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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