I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
