You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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