I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
