even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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