I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
