did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
