Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
