Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
