Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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