Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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