kristin has been a bad kristin
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
