I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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