lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
