haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
