brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
