Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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