dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
