Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
