Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
