Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
