He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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