Small penises have feelings too.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
