Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
