She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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