I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
