I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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