so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Two words: blizzard sex
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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